Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Some parents have all the luck

Lucky them.

My sister refused to babysit until our son was out of diapers. And even after he was out of diapers, she didn't babysit except on our anniversary. She saw our son when it was convenient for her, not when it was helpful to us.

My brothers lived in Jerusalem and the San Francisco area, respectively.

My parents lived in South Jersey until they made aliyah, moving to Jerusalem.

My father-in-law passed away when our son was less than a year old, and my mother-in-law was in no condition to be of any assistance.

My husband’s brother and sister-in-law already had two kids, the first of whom was born with health problems, by the time our son was born. And by the time it was clear to us that our son was going to be difficult to raise, they knew that their second child was in even worse health.

From the very beginning, we were almost completely on our own.

My husband always wanted a second child. So did I. But by the time I was ready to consider getting pregnant again, it was clear that the kid we already had was going to be a handful—and that we couldn’t expect any help whatsoever from anyone in raising either him and/or another child.

And that was before we realized that he was a handful because he had disabilities.

It’s been said that it takes a village to raise a child.

Well, we didn’t have a village.

So I tip my hat to all of the hard-working grandparents, aunts, uncles, and/or other relatives or friends who lend a helping hand. And I suggest that those of you who are blessed with help from loved ones in raising your child/ren thank Hashem every day for your good fortune.


Blogger PsychoToddler said...

We are very lucky on many accounts.

Wed Feb 08, 01:15:00 PM 2006  
Blogger Robbie said...

Don't forget to be thankful that you were able to do it on your own - even if it was hard.

I'm always amazed at/humbled by people who succeed when the cards are stacked against them, and much more so when the only people they can count on are themselves.

Wed Feb 08, 05:22:00 PM 2006  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Mark, PT, indeed you are.

Robbie, it's true that the situation could have been worse. Our son could have been more severely disabled and/or ill, as was his first cousin, who died at 21 after a lifetime of special ed. and medical treatments. Or one of us could have been raising our kid with disabities as a single parent. (Some of the parents of kids in our son's special ed. school were single parents. I could never imagine how they managed.) So yes, I am very thankful, indeed, that we got through parenthood more or less in one piece, and that our son was fortunate enough to outgrow, overcome, or learn to work around most of his problems.

Thu Feb 09, 12:18:00 AM 2006  

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